Monday, February 11, 2013

Dealing with Anger

I have been asked about kind of concrete ways that I deal with my anger.

Really, I would say that you kind of have to figure it out for yourself, but this is what I do, and you can use any of these ideas to help.

In the moment, I have to pause, and take deep breaths. When I get overcome with anger, it's some serious rage. Even the little things come with serious rage sometimes. Taking deep breaths helps get oxygen to my brain, and I can think a little clearer. I ask myself why I am mad, and is it worth it to stay mad? Sometimes, I decide it's worth it to stay mad for selfish reasons: I want my husband (or whoever) to really know that they hurt me, I want to make that person feel guilty, or I am too lazy to try to fight off the anger. Those three things are all qualities of Satan. When I am angry, I act like Satan. Wow. When I realized that for the first time, I got really depressed. Don't get depressed. It's part of the cycle of healing. Anger is normal. But, it's good to recognize the negative aspects of anger and try to overcome it.

If I have time and access, I write in my angry journal. Yes, angry journal. In this journal, I can write whatever I want. My husband will never see it. I might even burn it so my posterity can't ever see it. But this journal lets me rant out what I want to get out, AND, usually when I am finished writing, I realize that the reason I am mad or the way I am acting is stupid. Writing is so therapeutic for me. Writing helps me reason and understand myself. If you are artistic, you could do an art journal to express yourself that way.  Or both.

Praying is another crucial thing. Like I have said before, anger is kind of an addiction for me. When my husband is tempted with his addiction, he prays and asks God to help him fight it or to remove it for him. So, I have been really trying to do the same thing with my anger. It lets God see my submission, faith, and trust in Him. 

I also (somewhere) have a list of scriptures that help give me peace. So I can turn to them and find help that way. Or, I just open my scriptures and read the ones that are marked until I find something that really helps.

I started making a list of my favorite scriptures to post on here, but it is so long. So, here are some, and I'll add more tomorrow. These aren't necessarily specific to anger, but they give me hope and peace in general (and some are specific to anger too).

Psalms 27:1
Psalms 31:24
Proverbs 3:5
Proverbs 13:10
Proverbs 16:32
Proverbs 17:22
Mark 14:36
Luke 22:42
John 3:16-17
John 14:27
Romans 5 (the whole chapter is great, but the beginning through verse 11 is my favorite)
Romans 8:24-25

1 comment:

  1. Your deep breathing does more than just getting oxygen to your brain. Anger comes from the primal part of our brains--you know, cave man things. Mad, hungry, fright, etc. Taking those long deep breaths helps calm that part and lets the "thinking" part of the brain take over. Try adding gratitude to your breathing. Take in your deep breath, then as you slowly let it out, think of something that you are thankful for. Or maybe one of those scripture verses you have memorized! It works for me!