We burned the addiction on Independence Day! (Happy Independence Day, y'all!)
Yesterday, my dare was to get two pieces of paper. On one, I was to write all the positive things about Jack. On the other, I was to list all the negatives. Then, I was supposed to hide them in a safe place for later purposes in the Love Dare.
I didn't write the list of negatives. I didn't want to. I don't like dwelling on the negative, and I was afraid that making a real list of them would trigger me. Besides, I don't have many anyway. Other than the addiction, everything else is just human. They are small things that I know aren't important. Plus, I only dwell on the negative when I am depressed (and I don't really feel like being depressed). So I decided to skip that part and when it came back up in the Dare, I would see if I could somehow get around it.
The list of negatives came back up TODAY.
The chapter was about overcoming jealousy/envy and becoming my spouse's biggest fan. The dare: "To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it."
I'll admit, I was tempted to dwell on the negative just so I could burn it. What fun that could be!
Then, a better idea hit. Why not just write something about the addiction on a piece of paper and burn the addiction together?
I was so happy about my idea that I felt like skipping. I rushed out to find Jack and said, "Let's burn the addiction!" I explained to him what was going on. He got matches while I wrote, "The addiction tears our marriage apart" on a sheet of paper.
We took it to our fire pit.
I wanted to be the one to burn it, so I struck the match, touched a corner of the paper, and put the match out. It burned for a second then quickly went out.
Jack said since it didn't work, it was his turn. So, I let him. After all, it's his addiction.
His match burned that paper to a crisp.
I pointed out the irony (only he can destroy the addiction, not me). Then we held each other tight and watched the smoke curl up into the sunlit sky. It was a perfect moment (that could only have been more perfect if we had done some kind of ceremonial dance around the fire. But, alas, I can only ask my husband to be so weird with me. There were people around.)
Happy Independence Day! Let freedom ring!
(someone sing a freedom-hallelujah-chorus!)