I have felt a lot of stress and pressure lately, especially today. I almost had a meltdown at school about some things (half school related, half personal issues), but luckily I kept my composure.
I've also been incredibly blessed. Even though I don't have much time to get on here and read blogs, or write my own for that matter, and even though I don't have much time to study my scriptures, I'm really working on my relationship with God. I don't do the greatest every day, but I do what I can. I've found myself leaning on the half hour drive to and from work as my alone time and my time with God. I rotate between listening to talks, listening to classical and piano music, and listening to inspiring music. During the day, I try to listen to the Spirit. I pray when I can, and I try to see my students through God's eyes. I've had some amazing experiences.
Today I have been blessed with incredible strength. And I was blessed to feel Christ carry me. I've been studying the talk "Of Regrets and Resolutions" this week along with the Atonement, and it has really helped me see things through clearer eyes. I can't really get into it now, but I really just wanted to express that He is there. I can feel it every day, even when I'm down. I also feel Satan attacking me, and I'm learning how to deal with his negative influences in positive ways and kick him to the curb.
Lots of tender mercies have been thrown my way today. I'm thanking the Lord for every single one.
One was this song coming on during my drive home today. I put my recovery playlist on shuffle and told God to just hit me with the ones I need. The songs came in the most perfect order ever. And this is one that really lifted me up and strengthened me:
That’s Who I Am
(by Hilary Weeks)
I can feel myself breathe
Really breathe again
Gonna let myself dream
Really dream again
I won’t ever stop trying
This is my story
And I’m still writing!
I’m uncovering strength
I’ve never felt before
There is a fire inside
That’s never burned before
My fears are all dying
It’s time to spread my wings
And start flying
This moment is mine
And I’m gonna take it
Today is a gift
And I will embrace it
I am strong
And I believe
That’s who I’m meant to be
Every step that I take
Is lifting me higher
Every corner I turn
The future is brighter
I am brave enough to face the storm
And still stand
That’s who I am!
It’s not about the race
It’s not about how fast I run
It’s finding out what’s inside
And who I can become
It’s all about letting go
And holding on
It’s about taking chances
And staying strong
This moment is mine
And I’m gonna take it
Today is a gift
And I will embrace it
I am strong
And I believe
That’s who I’m meant to be
Every step that I take
Is lifting me higher
Every corner I turn the future is brighter
I am brave enough to face the storm
And still stand
That’s who I am!
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