Late-night talking and good, clean fun. Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. Relationship-building--with friends both old and new. Crying. Laughing.
If heaven is like this, sign me up.
I learned so much from the conference, but the biggest take-away I had was just the CONNECTION and love I felt from everyone. We need connection. We live in a world, and especially if you are LDS, we live in a culture that says, "Don't talk about this." The world tells us it's not a big deal anyway (which makes you kind of afraid to talk about the pain of this because you don't want to be judged), and the LDS culture says it needs to be hush-hush. I went a whole year before I reached out to anyone because a bishop had told me I wasn't allowed to. It was supposed to stay in the marriage. Then I attended LDS 12-step. Those were the only people I confided in. Then I wanted to tell a friend, so I asked Ben's permission (now I don't ask permission. I tell whoever I feel the need and deem "safe"). Over time, I started reaching out here and there, and reaching out has brought me the highest amount of healing aside from the Atonement.
I attended the Togetherness Project in SLC in October, and it was awesome. The classes, connection, everything.
This one was awesome too. But the connection I found as I attended both projects is what's been most important to me.
My Warrior Sisters are my best friends. They know me in and out, backwards and forwards. They know the deepest, darkest secrets and pains. They know my greatest joys. They know everything there is to know about me except for the few things I DO keep only within my marriage. There is a high level of vulnerability and acceptance in this part of my life, and I love it. I need it. We all need it.
I've had ideas forming of ways I want to reach out in my general area. There are still steps I need to take in order to start working on them, and TTP has given me a little push of strength to press forward. I know there are so many people who need this--the connection, validation, love, and healing through vulnerability and friendship. They need to know they aren't alone. No one should be suffering alone.
I'm so grateful for Jacy for getting this rolling. She has the biggest heart of anyone I know, and I love her.
I'm grateful for everyone who has contributed to my healing and reached out to me in love and support.
I'm grateful for my Warrior Sister-friends.