Today, I started reading through step 7 because of how *blah* I have been feeling for the past day or two. I found a lot of awesome stuff that supports me and reminds me that what I am feeling is normal.
I was reminded that when I start trying to overcome my weaknesses, I won't change all at once. I mean, I knew that, but like I said yesterday, I have been expecting too much perfection from myself. I have barely allowed myself to breathe. I have gotten down on myself every time I have messed up, and I haven't been very forgiving of myself (step 8: forgiveness, coming up soon!).
I was also reminded to take things one day at a time. I will have days where I can overcome my weaknesses. And I will have days where it's really hard, or I feel like I can't, or I just don't want to (cough cough... today). AND THAT IS OKAY! It's okay. My healing is a process. Where there is a process, there are cycles. And that is more than okay. That is normal! I'm normal. Woo hoo.
I loved this quote by Elder Hafen. When I read it, I was like AMEN.
"Struggling with those problems is at the very core of life's purpose. As we draw close to God, He will show us our weaknesses and through them make us wiser, stronger. If you're seeing more of your weaknesses that just might mean you're moving nearer to God, not farther away." (Healing Through Christ pg 68).
I do know I am moving closer to God. I can see it, even though I am stubborn and rebellious some days. It's okay. I am seeing more weaknesses, but that is because I am more in tune with the Spirit and more sensitive. Yay.
BTW, on a less serious note, yesterday, I mentioned that I'm PMSing. That is definitely part of my issues and negativity. And I kind of don't care right now.
:) This just about sums up PMS (for me, anyway):