Today, I was thinking of one of our trials, and I started getting really irritated about it. I know, I know, me? Irritated? No way ;)
But seriously, I was super mad/annoyed at this trial because I feel like it's just not fair, and quite honestly, I am tired of things being hard. This particular trial is one that is getting really hard right now. It has been ongoing for a few months, but it is finally now that I am getting to the point where I don't know if I can keep holding on. For a second, I was kind of mad at God and expecting Him to take it away...
What am I doing right now? Well, I'm working on a change of heart. I have a lot of work to do still, obviously. But we all do. As I was thinking about this trial and reflecting on my attitude, I realized that now is not the time to turn away from God and be mad. He is shaping me into something only He sees, something better.
Now is the time in this trial where God is watching me to see what I do. Will I lean on Him more, or will I decide I am fed up and move on without faith?
I choose to lean on Him in faith. I choose to build my strength and become the good and faithful servant I want to be.
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them" (Book of Mormon, Ether, Chapter 12, Verse 27).
I will turn my weaknesses over to The Lord so He can help care for me and make me stronger. Life is a journey. It's not easy. It isn't supposed to be easy. My trials are still hard, and some days I feel like I am in the middle if a marathon, but, if I let Him, Christ will carry me when I can no longer walk.