After fighting opposition and trying to make good choices in my life, I have found a great increase in peace in the past week.
Actually, it's amazing. This week at work, I experienced several things that showed me I am doing exactly what I am supposed to do right now. They were all very humbling experiences, and they showed me that through it all, God is with me. Even though I often can't see or understand why things are a certain way, or why He wants us where we felt prompted to move to, or why so many things are going wrong in our lives, I saw very clearly that His hand is in my life, and that He is using me as His hands here on earth to bless the lives of other people. Like I said, they were very humbling experiences, and they increased my desire to do the right thing and experience that change of heart that it talks about in step 6. I am so excited for life right now.
As you all probably can tell, my life is pretty hectic. I have a job that takes so much of my time, and I have a lot of other responsibilities on my plate. In the recent weeks, I have found my life clearing up a little bit. I have found more time to do the things I want to do, along with the necessary things for my daily life. I have accepted some things that I don't like (like lack of sleep), and I am really trying to accept things that come my way and do what the Lord asks of me.
Today, while we were meeting with our bishop, he mentioned that he thought of us this week when the stake president said they desperately need another couple to help run the addiction recovery meetings in our area. Then the bishop said, "Yeah, I thought of you, but then I was like man, they just have so much going on. I don't think they could do it."
Last week, Husband was telling me how he feels very strongly that we need to play a larger role in the Addiction Recovery Program in this area. A few months ago, I had volunteered to be a facilitator, but then I got this crazy job, and I have only gone to the meetings once since then (don't worry, I was never actually called and set apart as a facilitator, so I'm not shirking my responsibilities). Bishop knows how tough things have been for me, so I totally don't blame him for passing off that thought that hit him about us. But, as Husband and I had that conversation last week about playing a larger role in the ARP here, I told him, and I told my bishop this today, that if the Lord wants me to be a missionary for this program, I will.
Right now, they need a new set of missionaries. The program isn't very strong here, and I don't think they know of many people that will do this as a couple. At least, that is the vibe I have been getting. So today, I told my bishop, I have faith that if God wants me to do this on top of the other things I have committed to (because I have felt strongly that I am supposed to be doing those other things too), He will help me manage my life and not go crazy. I have faith that God will not leave me comfortless, and He will bless me to be able to do the things He wants me to do if He wants me to be a missionary for this program.
I don't know if we will be called as missionaries. My bishop said that definitely changed his view and that he would be less narrow-minded in praying about that. I have no idea what revelation he will receive and if he will submit our names to the stake president to do this, but I felt so much power in what I said. I have faith. Let me tell you, you don't understand how crazy this could make me if I wasn't acting on faith. If I didn't have faith that all would work out, and if I got that calling, I could go insane. But, I felt peace and strength in declaring that I would go where the Lord wants me to go because I have faith.
My prayers and listening to general conferences talks and all that other stuff I have been doing to grow closer to the Lord and experience a change of heart have been doing me some good. I have felt so much stronger and closer to Him this whole week, and being able to declare my faith today was such a good way to top off the week.
Something I have learned is the meaning of praying in Jesus name. When we close our prayers, we say "in the name of Jesus Christ, amen." Have you ever really thought about what that means? I have been thinking of this a lot lately. It means that I am sealing my prayer through Jesus. It means I have faith that my what I have said in my prayer is according to His will. It means that I am acting as a witness of Him and seeking to emulate His character. Sometimes, when I pray, I think all those things and more, and I feel so close to Him.
I just wanted to share that with you and encourage you to do what you can to draw yourself closer to Christ.