Tuesday, March 12, 2013

You Can Handle It

***Note: I wrote this on Sunday. I thought I posted it. Well, I did on my phone but apparently it failed. Sorry.

When I started this blog, I had no idea what was in store for me. I have been blessed in so many ways, and I am so grateful for the people who have emailed me and shared with me some of the things going on in their lives.

One person who emailed me back in the beginning turned out to be one of my best friend's best friends. If you followed that. Anyway, through this blog, we were able to share experiences with each other and draw closer together in friendship too, which has been cool.

I was talking to this friend, whom I will call Janet, today about life. As many of you have read, I recently had a change in my life that has made my life very stressful. So, on top of my health trials and this trial with my husband, I have this big thing that is impacting my life too. I was sharing with Janet some of my feelings, and she was sharing with me things about her life, when she asked me a couple questions. Are you grateful for your trial? Of course, I said yes. Then she followed up with, would you rather have your trial than mine?

Now, I can relate to this woman a lot in the sense that we both had very spiritual confirmations to marry our husband, not knowing what we were getting ourselves into. Just like six months after my sealing, my husband dropped the bomb about his addictions, two months after her sealing, her husband told her he didn't believe in the church anymore. I seriously don't know what I would do if that were me. I'm sure I would figure it out, just like I have been figuring out how to deal with what is going on in my life, but I don't envy Janet at all. And she doesn't envy me.

Our conversation confirmed to me a couple of things. First of all, we are given trials that we can handle. I talked to Husband about this too, and he said, "Yeah, you wouldn't be able to handle that." Not to sound conceited, but I feel like right now, I am doing pretty amazingly with my trial. It's taken a lot of work, and it still requires work, and I know that I am immensely blessed by God. I know that I am where I am because God has made me able to be so. And I know that God is blessing Janet to be able to handle what she is going through. And she probably wouldn't be able to handle her husband having a sexual addiction in the same way that I can. God knows what He is doing. He gives us what we can handle, and He is helping us grow. I know that whatever you are going through, God is helping you handle it. And you can handle it.

Another part of our conversation was about the purpose of these trials. I have thought a lot about that over the past couple of years, and I honestly think that my husband needs me. I don't know if many people would be able to do what I do for him. I have developed a lot of patience and understanding, and I am able to give him a lot of love. I'm grateful for God blessing me with such talents, and blessing me with the ability to strengthen those talents too. And, in my selfishness, I honestly think that I am the best person for him :) And he is definitely the best person for me. We complete each other in ways that I can't even describe. And, this trial has helped me grow in so many ways. Like, I have developed certain good communication skills that were not modeled to me by my parents. And I have been given the assignment by my bishop to help a certain person in our ward deal with emotions and communication better. So, that is good. Anyway, I told Janet that I think part of the reason she is going through this with her husband is because she might be the only person who can help him. She has worked through her own period of not believing in the church, so she can understand where he is coming from. And I'm sure the chemistry and personality in their marriage is a strength to him.

So, to all you out there, I hope you can find or start looking for the purpose of this. What are you learning in your trials? In what ways can you grow? What do you think the Lord wants you to learn? Also, I would encourage you to reach out to other people, if you aren't already. You never know what people are going through. Everyone has their own fiery trial happening, and everyone can use some love: a smile, friendly conversation, holding the door open, something that shows you care in some kind of way. I read that when we are experiencing fiery trials, we are blessed with godly compassion and also the ability to recognize and sense when others need to experience love. So, reach out in love. See others the way Christ sees them. See your loved one, whatever your trial is that is happening, with Christlike love.

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