Thursday, June 20, 2013
Soapbox Corner: Modesty
If you haven't seen Jessica Rey's speech about the evolution of the swimsuit, you should now. It's very interesting and enlightening.
I've noticed that people either really like or really don't like what she has to say.
I posted this video on my Facebook. The video got lots of shares and likes and one comment. I'm good friends with the girl who commented, but some of what she said made me just want to shake her and yell, "You don't understand!"
I wouldn't say our conversation got heated. But it did get a little intense. We just don't see eye to eye on the modesty issue. It definitely got me thinking.
Her main argument was that the way men's brains function is not the reason to dress modestly. She said that the only reason we should dress modestly is for God and out of respect for ourselves. The way men think should not tell us how to dress. I know it is stereotypical towards men and maybe not every guy who sees a woman in Daisy Dukes and a tube top is led to think sexual thoughts. Maybe. I don't really care if it is stereotypical. It's real. Even if not every man is led to sexual thoughts/actions, many are. Some of those men don't even want those thoughts, but they come when they see a neckline crawling down cleavage or shorts riding up. Even good, religious men think those thoughts. Even if they fight it.
My number one reason for dressing modestly is my love and respect for God. Number two is respect for myself. Another reason I dress modestly is for men. I don't want men to think impure thoughts about me. I also don't want to be held in any way responsible for where their thoughts go. If I dressed immodestly, how could I expect Jack to recover from his addiction? How could I expect him to recover if I am a constant temptation of the sexual nature? Sometimes I cringe when we are out in public and I see a women dressed immodestly. I cringe. Because I know right where his thoughts could go. It's a little selfish of me because I don't want his thoughts there, but know you what? Most of the time, he doesn't want his thoughts there either. That doesn't change the fact that his thoughts go there. Sometimes it even happens without him realizing what has happened.
I know. Women's rights! Feminism. "Men aren't in charge of me, I am!" "It's not my problem if he can't control himself, it's his!" You know what? It actually could become your problem. Or maybe it's not your problem, but it's another woman's. And men aren't in charge of you, but it sure as heck would be nice if you would respect them and their brains.
I think it's a fact of our society that women are objectified. The media portrays it. Everywhere. Movies, magazines, billboards, commercials, TV shows, clothing stores. Trends. Women are objectified, and women play into it.
Growing up, a common compliment I heard girls give each other at school or in the locker room was, "Oh dannnnng girrrl. You look sexy." Sexy. When I was a teenager, I didn't think anything about it. I wanted to look sexy. I wanted to be desirable. I wanted to be noticed. Well, I've learned now what it means to be noticed, and that's not because I've been noticed. I've learned because I'M MARRIED TO A PORN ADDICT! AND THIS WOMAN WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU OTHER WOMEN WOULD CLOTHE YOURSELVES A LITTLE MORE!
Don't you think that part of the reason God wants us to dress modestly is for moral and brain protection? I do. I think God knows what He is doing. He knows Satan's tactics. He knows men will be targeted through sex. He knows that Satan will try to break down the family through sex. And that is what is happening. Too many people, men and women alike, view sex as a pleasure or fun time. It's not regarded with the sanctity that it should be, and IMMODESTY PLAYS A HUGE ROLE IN THAT! Especially when women think immodesty is not a big deal and that their immodesty doesn't or shouldn't affect men.
I really don't think it should be up to women to keep men in check with their thoughts. It's kind of unfair. But, heck, it is up to us. It's up to us virtuous women who want to protect our families because I can guarantee you know one else will care.
So, please, let's make a whole army of virtuous women and try to make a stand for modesty and the protection of families!
This post was written in a moment of complete frustration with life, porn, and immodesty-feminism.
For a great take on modesty, click here.