Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Who do you want to be?

Today has been a very busy day. I won't have time to go into detail about step 2, really. I just wanted to share something I have been thinking about lately.

A couple days ago as I was driving, I had this question hit me (and it was so intense that it caused me to miss my turn): who do you want to be? Sometimes, I drive without music so things like that can happen to me :) Music (if listened to too often) can clog our ability to receive the Spirit.

So I asked myself last night and wrote about it in my journal: who do I want to be?

There are a some things that I want of myself really badly. They are always peeking, but not always ready to come out. I decided it's time for these "peeking" traits to start making a full-time appearance in my life. I need some change. I'm ready to fill my life with optimism, passion, and joy.

Ultimately, I have the choice to become whomever I want. There is always a choice. Sometimes, we can't see the choice because it is hidden behind other things. I am ready to uncover my choices.

I want to be a disciple of Christ.

I want to be a giver.

I want to be a lover of life.

I want to jump at every opportunity, take chances, have no fear, just live and learn.

I want to have a deep passion for everything I do.

I want to turn shadows into sunshine.

I want to be grateful for the glass, whether it's half-empty or half-full (it's usually half-full).

I want to be head-over-heels in love.

I want my breath to be taken away every morning when I see my husband sleeping by my side.

I want to be able to look at my husband and have my heart melt because he is mine.

I started with a disciple of Christ because that is the most important. When the list gets down to my husband... those things can happen too, and yes, they are in my control. Even though he has done many things that have hurt our marriage, so have I. I have noticed that when I have the proper attitude, he does take my breath away. My heart does melt when I catch him looking at me. But, I want that all the time. To have that, I need to have a heart full of Christ-like love, ready to forgive, and full of gratitude. That's where the other stuff come in that are on my list. It's hard to explain what is going through my head and heart right now. But this is what I want, and I know that I can have this. I guess it ties perfectly into step 2 because a heart full of hope and love is what will bring me the optimism, passion, and joy that I desire. And hope is what I need to take me to the next step to where I desire to go.

Look out, world. Here comes the new me!

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